Chapter 2- Patti

FYI. I saved my chapter one as a draft and still waiting for help on how to retrieve my document. I will post it as soon as I find out. Sorry.

As I reflected on this chapter, I was so thankful how the Lord has grown me since the start of my marriage. It was a rough start due to my expectations and sin. I so expected him to be someone he was not and we bud heads due to my stubbornness. After 6 months tension between us, the Lord soverignly ordained that my husnband be delpoyed to Utah for one year. The timing could not have been more perfect. Prior to him leaving, we attempted to be at peace but there was still tension and sin I had in my heart. I truly feel that the sin in my heart has affected my love for my husband. I was so self-centered and can relate to what Carolyn said about how her husband was more concerned with his ministry than with her.

We decided to remodel our kictchen. while he was gone. Big mistake. We added more fire to the fuel. The job was so bad that we had to ask a friend to interceed on my husband behalf. Looking back, I know the time away served it's purpose. Although, the remodeling went sour the Lord provided another contractor to finish the job. But not only that, the Lord exposed my sin and rebellion. I learned how selfish I was and how much my husband loves me. He made so many trip late into the night to spend time with me. He was so heavy burden with our situation. I have failed to guard my heart against sin and failed to prize, cherish and enjoy him. Prior to my husbands return, I had repented and was taking my thoughts captive to the obdience of Christ. Eph 4: 8 says finally brethren, whaterver is true, whatever is honorable whatever is just, whaterver is pure, whaerver is lovely, whatever is commenable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worth of praise , thinks on these thing. That was a memory verse I used to combat the sin of expectation. The Lord has taught me that my expectation was sinful and wrong. I was hurting my husband and failing to honor him. In my failure I was dishonoring the Lord. Upon this realization, I was so humble and repentant for allowing myself to give into the flesh. I started to change my thinking and desired to honor my husband. My expectation of my husband chaged and I started to see the man I fell in love with.

It's been 6 years now and we are in our second deployment. The Lord has taught us both to live in understanding and change our thinking about eachother. I so appreciate my husband and desire to honor him. We had a blessed time together while he was home in February. Looking back on how the Lord has changed me, I am thankful that He has given me a desire to honor my husband and look beyond myself. It is only remebering the Lord love and mercy for me that I can enjoy my husband. I am looking forward to having him home at the end of May so that I can prize, cherish and enjoy him more.